Marriage is a scam – Nigerian woman recounts childhood trauma

A Nigerian woman, believed to be a social media influencer, has sparked intense conversation online after sharing her deeply personal and painful views on marriage during a recent podcast appearance.

Her emotional remarks, which reflect both childhood trauma and a deep mistrust of traditional marital dynamics, have struck a nerve with many listeners across social platforms.

“If you mention marriage to me, I feel like marriage is a scam,” she began, visibly emotional. The influencer, whose name remains undisclosed, explained that her disillusionment with marriage was rooted in the experiences of her mother, who she said endured domestic abuse at the hands of her father.

“I didn’t want to get married. Is this thing marriage? What my mom went through? Is this what anybody wants me to go through?” she asked, recalling the pain of watching her mother live through subjugation and silence in her marital home. “A man subjects you, you don’t have a voice, you don’t have anything.”

The most haunting part of her story came when she recounted a terrifying memory from her childhood—watching her father physically assault her pregnant mother. “I see my dad beats my mom when my mom was pregnant with our last child and he was marching on her tummy. Are you carrying Jesus? Whatever you are carrying, I don’t need a child,” she said.

She recalled in vivid detail how her father, in a fit of rage, trampled on her mother’s heavily pregnant belly. “I watched him step on my mom’s tummy like he was marching on a full grown pregnancy,” she said. Miraculously, she added, her mother carried the pregnancy to term, giving birth after 11 months and two weeks.

That trauma, she said, shaped her worldview—and it has never left her. “Every man that comes to me, once you say, ‘I want to marry,’ I’ll just say, ‘my father,’” she admitted, referencing the long shadow her father’s violence cast over her perception of romantic relationships.

She also shared a story about a suitor who, on the surface, seemed kind and caring. An older man who preferred to take domestic responsibilities into his own hands—doing the shopping, cooking, and managing household duties—was not comforting to her. Rather, it triggered a different fear.

“I just saw him as, this one is going to cage me. Why won’t I go to the market and shop?” she said. Even in that act of care, she perceived control. “When he was coming to ask for my hand in marriage… the man would cancel the list. I say, reduce this. I say, ah, the same thing my dad does to my mom.”