Marriage is not trial and error

Marriage counsellor Frank Edem Adofoli has spoken out on social media to defend the importance of professional counselling, following comments by popular YouTuber Wode Maya that appeared to downplay its value.

In a post sighted by MyNewsGh, Adofoli said he was concerned by suggestions that couples should simply learn through experience without guidance.

“I understand that you may not fully appreciate what counselling is, especially marriage counselling,” he wrote.

“But suggesting that couples should just spend time together and figure things out sounds like dismissing professional support.”

He compared entering marriage without preparation to driving without training.

“It is like asking someone to start a car and drive without proper knowledge,” he said. “When they crash, they must live with the damage without seeking help.”

According to Adofoli, marriage counselling gives couples practical tools to manage conflict and build healthy relationships.

He pointed to research showing that couples who go through structured pre-marriage counselling are less likely to divorce.

“Marriage counselling provides wisdom and skills for a strong foundation,” he explained. “Post-marriage counselling also helps couples deal with challenges and restore happiness.”

He also warned that advice that undermines counselling can cause harm.

“Many people suffer in marriage because of such advice,” he said. “Counsellors are trained professionals, just like doctors and teachers.”

Adofoli cited the COVID-19 period as an example, noting that many couples struggled due to lack of conflict-management skills.

“Domestic violence increased worldwide,” he stated.

“Many relationships broke down because couples lacked the right tools.”

“Counselling equips couples to honour that covenant with wisdom,” he said, quoting Proverbs 11:14: “Where there is no guidance, a people falls.”