I love men, but I love women more

US-based Nigerian professor, Uju Anya has shared a story about her life and identity in an interview with Chude Jideonwo monitored by MyNewsGh.

“I realized very early that I liked boys,” she said. “But I was also into girls. Nobody helped me understand it.”

She explained that growing up, she knew these feelings were not something people talked about. “There was so much homophobia around. You get the message quickly that you should keep quiet.”

Uju said society also pushes girls toward one path. “The message is clear. Your goal is to marry a man and have babies,” she said.

She later married a man she genuinely loved. “He was hot, funny, and could dance,” she laughed. “I was really in love. The marriage was not fake.”

Still, something felt missing. “I loved him, but I loved women more,” she admitted. “That connection kept growing.”

About 10 years into the marriage, she opened up to her husband. “I told him, ‘I need to be with a woman.’ He suggested we open the marriage.”

For a while, it worked. But eventually, she knew she could not continue. “I didn’t want to go home anymore,” she said. “I knew it was time.”

Uju said attending a Nigerian lesbian wedding changed everything. “I saw two Yoruba women get married. Traditional wedding, white wedding, everything,” she recalled. “I told myself, ‘This can exist.’”

That moment sealed her decision. “My marriage was over at that point. I knew my future.”