Loving stepchildren like your own is not always possible

Adeola Kingsley-James, a Certified Rapid Transformational Therapist and Stepmom Coach, has addressed the pressures stepmothers face in loving their partner’s children.

She challenged the expectation that stepmothers must love their stepchildren “like their own.”

“Living my life trying to make you unbitter is not my responsibility,” she said on the Clarity Zzone podcast hosted by Nedu Wazobia.

“So you cannot love your stepchildren like your own? When they say you must love them like your own, do they love you like their own?”

Kingsley-James emphasized the unique pressures stepmothers face. “You can’t love another person’s child. Do you know what happens when you carry a child? You are constantly on the edge asking, did I smile enough? Did I shock you?”

She noted the societal labeling that compounds the stress. “And then you have that umbrella name, the wicked stepmother already, that the whole world sees you as.”

Kingsley-James advised that anyone entering a blended family should be well-informed. “Nobody should walk into the journey of a blended family without information,” she said.