DEAR KUKUA, Please advise me. For the past five years, I have been in a relationship with a lady and we were hoping to get married soon but I left Ghana two years ago.
Although I have not been in the country I continue to support this woman, and things are not always easy for me but I try my best.
I have come to realise that this lady is rushing to get married to the extent that she pesters me daily on when we should get married. I try to calm her down or reason with her but her persistence doesn’t go down.
I understand her persistence but I am painstakingly trying my best to arrange the marriage but progress has been slow because of the COVID situation, I really love and want to do right by her.
A few days ago she brought me unto a conference call with her mother and as we were speaking she asked her mother to ask me when I would come to pay the bride price. I was astonished, even her mother advised her to relax and to wait as such matters took time but she became upset and angry and refused to talk.
The next day, when I called her she made me aware that she was tired of waiting and told me to let go and use my money for other issues. I am confused as to what to do, please help. How can I make her understand my situation?
KUKUA SAYS: I’m glad you both agreed to get married and it wasn’t pressure from one party.
Plans change all the time and unless one party becomes unsatisfied or insecure with the change a little time and patience is all you need to adjust/ move on.
Traveling outside the country almost feels like starting life again so it’s understandable when things like marriage plans are put on hold.
It’s been two years since you left…do you not have a job yet, if you do, how lucrative is it…enough to support a marriage/wife? How are you communicating your challenges to your partner?
Distance has clearly put a strain on your relationship and communication doesn’t look like the best. This will make most women insecure. I can assure you insecurity is what’s driving your partner up the wall thus giving you ultimatums.
You seem to care about the relationship…. put work in your communication… more calls in whatever form (audio and video) every now and again. As soon as you can, make plans for the marriage, it doesn’t have to be glamorous.
All the best.